Screenshotted examples throughout this piece are captured from Tinder, Grindr or text message.
The key to "10 texts to sex" is in the brevity, says Talens. “When I’m looking for sex ASAP, I tend to be pretty straightforward on Tinder,” says 25-year-old New Yorker Rachael (a pseudonym).
She just wants to offer the good advice she’s learned over the course of her speedy hookup career. ” query with a straight-up “NOPE.” Because overtures for no-strings-attached sex requires two crucial elements be in play: His consent — and hers.
That's just fine for expert Tinder user Rachael who does not apologize or condemn the extremely straightforward nature of sexting today.
“You can usually pick those guys out pretty quickly,” says 31-year-old New Yorker Barbara (a pseudonym) who just moved to the city and describes herself as going from a “romantic at heart” to “well, he hasn’t spit in my drink so I guess that makes him a total catch.” “ What I have a problem with is the guys who sell themselves as 'looking for something more' but actually just want to [ejaculate] on your face. ” Relationship expert April Masini confirms that having zero expectations — outside of the sex — is important for anyone involved in a speedy hookup. It’s not hard for a man to put on a pair of pants and meet you at a bar.” 3. “Just so someone knows where I am, my friend and I will also usually send a pic of the guy with his name and address to each other if we’re going directly to someone’s apartment and not meeting in public.” 4. “Don’t f*ck someone this fast because you are looking for a relationship.
“Hooking up after 10 or fewer text exchanges is one thing,” she says, “but the commitment to the hookup that I’ve seen after those fast first dates makes it clear that some people still believe in fairy tales, or are in major denial.” But expert casual dater and hookup arranger Rachael is not in any kind of denial at all. “Go into every encounter feeling like if you never see or hear from this person again it’s completely acceptable (if not preferred), and there won’t be any upset or hurt feelings.” 2. Do it because you want to get off.” And the most important tip of all: Don’t harass people who explicitly say in their profiles “looking for long-term relationship” or “not here just for hookups,” or perhaps most clear of all, a reply directly to your “DTF?
Other online love seekers ramble on with planning and get-to-know-you messages. “Usually works best with someone new who matched or messaged me at that time and not someone I’ve been talking to or trying to set up a date with for days or weeks on end. “Remember, if you are looking for sex at midnight on a Tuesday and someone messages you, then 99% of the time they want sex, too,” she says.
If he hasn’t been able to get his shit together to invite me out after a couple days, then he probably won’t be into a last-minute thing.” And here’s the real secret: Stop pretending you’re both not members of the “Hey, you up? “I’ll take someone who starts with something at least vaguely sexual that can turn to sexting over someone who asks what my favorite movie is and where I went to school and how many siblings I have and then suddenly switches to asking for a blow job.” In case that wasn’t clear, she makes it crystal: “Don’t feign interest in my life. It makes more sense for you to ask what I’m into sexually than to ask where I like to have brunch.
Text messages now outpace voice calls as the main communication among millennials.“Sex is more fun than just going home and masturbating, so when all we are seeking is that release, there is no need to play coy or pretend we necessarily need to always get to know the person who is temporarily sharing in that.” And if people can get there in a few swipes and taps, well, why not?Do you mean getting a number from Tinder (since this is /r/Tinder)? If Tinder, are you seriously asking a girl for her number on Tinder and then waiting a fucking day before you send a text? So I wouldn't take any of their advice seriously then. If a girl really likes you, do you think you texting right away is going to turn her off? If she's not into it you could move fucking mountains and it wouldn't matter, it's not gonna happen.And the numbers are almost always working in their favor. Belisa Vranich who also notes society’s increasing acceptance of our Tinderized culture.“Are extremely to-the-point exchanges always the case for every millennial? But for many on Tinder or the other swiping apps out there, what might have once been a lengthy back-and-forth romantic interaction can be pretty much boiled down to ” Dick Talens, a 29-year-old New York entrepreneur, usually juggles several girls at once on OKCupid, Tinder and, of course, by good old-fashioned text message.