For any woman the whole idea of dating is one that terrifies most of us.As many woman reading this will identify – most of us have a hang up about our bodies in some way or another.(This piece was originally published at The LStop.org)Within every lesbian community there exists a tale as old as time, a proverb as common as it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and ultimately leave — never for another woman, but for a man.Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville.Or could it be that, when it comes to romance between queer women, the game has been rigged from the start?Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.The teacher, the school owners and fellow students were all really accepting and I loved it.
Honestly I’ve had total strangers offer their services to me for that. I have even tried to look at men objectively in that way, as I know some people do change when they start HRT when they start their transition and who they are attracted to can change.
Boys, on the other hand, learn to define romance as a verb — something they must actively do to earn a girl’s affections.
This socialization has immediate implications for all queer romance, but presents an even greater obstacle for a potential lesbian and bisexual pairing, as illustrated by the following quote from a very good friend of mine (who’s also a bi woman):“Honestly, I don’t even like men all that much. But they make me feel wanted and desired in a way that very few women ever do.
If you haven’t got honesty from the start, then you have a relationship built on rocky foundations and that just isn’t the best start to any relationship.
So despite my going out to clubs and bars, dancing and have the odd snog with a lady it never really progressed beyond that.