Don't Be Their Friend Just as with any old parent-child relationship, it's a bad idea to try to be "friends" with your significant other's child.It's easy to want to impress them and be that cool, new person in their life, but they need the structure, seriousness, and guidance that only adults can provide. (Even when it totally doesn't feel like it.) Lay the Smack Down Early My boyfriend was a supreme joker, so it came naturally that his child was, too. I was afraid of p*ssing off my boyfriend, but he was fine with it. The boy was a little pins-and-needles with me for a few hours afterward, but he soon got over it and life went back to normal. Don't try this move too soon, but don't wait too long, either. It's one thing to have your boyfriend pee with the door open, but it's another thing when you're sitting on the couch and realize you can hear his kid peeing down the hall.It turns out there is very little literature on how to date someone who has children. After running into him over a period of months, we began dating.
Give Advice Here's the thing about all kids: They will listen to another adult before they listen to their own parents. Then, over time, I took it to the next level and offered advice about school, friends, food, movies, girls, etc. I may find myself in a new relationship that involves children one day, so I need as much advice on this topic as I can get.For example, my boyfriend was totally fine with letting his kid zone out in front of a Playstation for an entire Saturday afternoon. So it's up to you to point out that this makes you feel uncomfortable and is inappropriate. They practically beg me to take control of their kiddos at the restaurant. They're working, raising the kids, paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and are completely exhausted. I'm not saying you get to send them to their rooms or take away their phones. But sometimes they need to be told to CALM DOWN, STOP DOING THAT, ENOUGH! Because you aren't the parent, you get to do the easy disciplining, such as reminding them to eat over the plate because CRUMBS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE, reminding them to go take a bath because it's bedtime already GEEZ HURRY UP, and hollering HEY STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL when you hear the wee feline screech in pain. When you date someone who has a child, you're dating that child, too.If this were "my kid," we would have been doing something else. Set the boundary with the boyfriend first -- in private. When they first started having babies, they freaked out if I told their toddlers, "No! Go Ahead and Fall in Love Let that child or children into your heart. Other people's children are such a blessing in my life, and I'm honestly very sad that I don't get to spend time with my ex-boyfriend's son anymore. One of the coolest things my cousin has ever done happened at her wedding.For now, my advice is to also play the waiting game with the ex -- take your time before you meet him or her. Realize you are taking someone else's child into your life.Show that you care about the child, and you will go a long way towards a good relationship with the mother or father of your brand new kid.