I guess that’s what keeps me from wanting to sit down and chat about what’s bothering me — maybe he doesn’t even really care. Okay, here it is: How can I know if I should fully invest in this relationship? (I should add that when we exchanged Christmas cards, he signed his “Your Pal.” I signed mine “Love.” Telling, no?All I have to go on is the fact that whenever we hang out (twice a week at least, although it’s mostly me initiating / making plans) we have a great time; but the lag in between spending time together fills me with doubts and anxieties, and frankly I don’t wanna be That Girl. I realize any new relationship is fraught with scary uncertainties, but I guess I’m just not ready to invest more if it’s not reciprocal (although, who does, right? I should also add, though, that we do call each other “dude,” “chief,” etc. Am I letting this argot unintentionally set the tone for our emotional interactions?It's pretty terrifying to be yourself and ask someone to love you for that when you're still trying to uncover who that really is.So it just seems easier to reach for that unattainable standard because at least it's already spelled out for us.to push my buttons, just to see what it would take for me to crack.I eventually did -- after a year of keeping quiet and ignoring a multitude of selfish actions (ditching my birthday party to go skydiving and frequently saying he didn't picture us long-term both come to mind). And he was In reality, he made me cry ALL THE TIME, but only behind closed doors. Because a Cool Girl lets her man do whatever he wants, whenever he feels like it. My "cool factor" was finally stretched to its brink with a cowboy I dated long-distance.On the down side, he also expected several phone calls a day and needed to know where I was all the time — I fully realize that a lot of what I thought was sweet and thoughtful at the time was pretty damn toxic.
" at the game on TV until my throat is so dry I can barely order another Hoegaarden.
But it took some experience and self-reflection to discover the difference between "easygoing" and "doormat" -- and why, as a woman, having feelings (and voicing them) in a relationship doesn't make you crazy. girl I know, so I hope we can stay friends." And even though I was too sad and still too infatuated to be his buddy, I continued to answer his messages for months and helped him pick out a Mother's Day gift.
Because above all, he thought I was "cool." And a Cool Girl is always understanding; she knows how to compartmentalize her pesky emotions.
The exclamation revels in that thing's uniqueness; something about it is remarkable, inspiring, and barrier-breaking. She's the opposite of "crazy" (a dude's worst nightmare) and a mold we feel we have to fit in order to find a man and, ultimately, make him want to stick around.
Especially in our early 20s, life revolves around figuring out who we are, what the hell we want, and what we must give (and take) emotionally in order to foster a successful relationship with another person.