It would make sense, then, that the person for whom you already do all of these things would make the best relationship partner. The desirability factor is derived from the absence of those things, which ferments that kind of desire that reflects the old adage, "You want what you can't have."If one of these is more present than the other in the relationship, the relationship will fail.
This isn't to say you wouldn't do these things with a romantic partner if you weren't friends with him or her first, but you're certainly more likely to do them when that friendship foundation is already there, when those levels of respect have already been established, before the passionate part comes into play. Nicholson writes: Being easy, congenial and friendly made a person more 'likeable,' but not more attractive or desirable as a romantic partner.
Gladly I didn;'t stick around to see her go for some other guy. I want a lover who could also be a best friend, not a best friend who might become a lover.
It's kinda sad because the relationship was great, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted. Might, maybe, and someday just doesn't cut it with me.
I have dated women whome I was friends with, and I have quit being friends with women wo I felt were playing me with the "FRIENDS FIRST " let down. The difference between men & women and being friends first is (I know I'm about to generalize big time)...It always seems very one-sided and I see guys (especially) falling for this all the time.Because I fell for it once and will no longer fall for it, I simply feel pity for them and sometimes even want to smack them upside the head.I always start with friendship but 99% of the time I end up feeling something for the person that they do not feel for me and I am forced to either be their friend and forget those feelings or move on without them in my life. But then again jumping right in the sack with someone doesn't seem to work either. Lets say a guy is at a party, a girl walks in, he looks up and thinks nothing of her.He gets to know her over time because of mutual friends, he finds out she is really cool and they become friends, he will NEVER fall in love with her because that instant attraction wasn't there. Lets say a girl is at a party, a guy walks in, she looks up and thinks nothing of him.