So be prepared with a phrase you can say to steer the sexual action in another direction if you need to.
This phrase should be something that feels natural coming out of your mouth; if you say it in other, non-sexual situations on a regular basis, then the words will come easily when you need them.
It’s one of the reasons we’re still so uncomfortable acknowledging female masturbation. But your sexuality is not one of those things, and it’s time to stop acting like it is.
So here are some practical ways to get comfortable asserting control over your body at any point during a hookup: When you need to say “NO.”When you want to deny sexual consent, it can be hard to get the words out.
Hopefully, your partner will respect your body language and stop whatever they are doing.
Say your prepared phrase and suggest a different direction — “I’m not into that, but I really liked what we were doing before…” If your partner ruins the mood by sulking, or if they try again when you’ve already said no, then it’s time to stop hooking up with them. What if you’ve told someone that you’re interested in having sex in the future, and now it’s the future… Now their feelings are at stake, and you might feel pressure not to disappoint them.
As women, we are taught to put others’ feelings above our own comfort, so we might find ourselves considering having sex with someone rather than risk offending them. But you are perfectly entitled to change your mind, even if you’re not quite sure why, even if you made a promise, even if you’ve had sex with this person before.