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These theorists argued that gendered societal expectations prevented men from expressing anger and frustration; these feelings would build up until the man lost control and released his feelings through the use of violence.

They argued that men battered because they had learned violence in their families as children, and women sought out abusive men because they saw their mothers being abused.Further, as emphasized in batterers treatment programs, boys who witnessed domestic violence and grew up to be batterers learned more than just violence; rather, they learned—and thus can unlearn—lessons about the respective roles of men and women that contribute to their abusive behavior as adults.Closely related to the “learned behavior” theory were the theories that described violence as the result of a loss of control.Finally, the static model of “learned helplessness” is contradicted by the fact that the violence, and the woman’s reaction to the violence, often changes over time.The first episode of violence is generally minor; victims may be surprised and shocked, and may not anticipate that it will occur again.

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