My relationships at that point would go something like this: we would meet, there would be a spark, we’d hang out a few times, after a few weeks I would freak out and feel trapped and suffocated, I would then lose all interest in the relationship and would do whatever I could to sabotage it.
I felt guilty but also kind of alarmed at my inability to feel anything.
’ ‘It’s too soon,’ ‘I don’t like labels,’ ‘I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship,’ blah blah blah.
At the time, I truly, genuinely, wholeheartedly believed the things I was saying and, to some extent, they were true.
However, it didn’t stay dropped for long and soon it was ALL we would talk about.
Oftentimes, it may mean that he isn’t ready to commit in that way at that moment.Eric does a great job explaining what might be going on in your guy’s mind but I have some insights that, although from a female perspective, will be of great value as well. The experience caused me to completely shut down emotionally.I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway! My ‘guy’ behavior caused the actual guys was seeing to take on the ‘girl role’ and they were always way more into it than I was (this was also due to my aforementioned heartbreak which rendered me numb).He made some very valid points- we saw each other multiple times a week, we talked every day, we liked each other, we had met each others parents, so what exactly was my problem?I fed him the usual crap, the sort that had been fed to me by guys so many times before: ‘I like things how they are, why mess with everything?