I am not arguing for the easy divorce, just a more intelligent one.
For the record (and, if it's not obvious), intelligent does not mean stupid.
Stick around long enough to become someone's best friend.” ― Vera Nazarian, tags: acceptance, adversity, best-friend, breakups, caring, child, cruelty, dad, dumped, endings, family, friendship, hurt, illness, love, mental-disorders, misunderstood-fights, mom, pain, rejection, sorrow, spouse, support, support-system, tough-times, trials, true-friendship “Vlad made a mental note to amend the friend code: thou shalt not date the girl that thy best friend has a crush on..shalt thou try sticking thy best friend in the chest with a sharp hunk of wood.” ― Heather Brewer, “I want to talk to her. I want her to give me a book she just read and loved.
She is my phantom limb, and I just can’t believe I’m here without her.”- on losing her best friend” ― Nora Ephron, “Unfailing friends are essential, when ‘presence’ and ‘absence’ are wrangling in our daily living, and our presence is rampaged by murk and woe, while passion and lust for life are trampled. It's excellent training for having a boyfriend.” ― Brando Skyhorse, “God, what had we done? Piper had been the kind of friend with whom I didn't have to fill in the spaces with random conversation. She knew that sometimes I needed that - to not have to take care of anyone or anything, to simply exist in my own space, adjacent to hers.” ― Jodi Picoult, “We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days …
There are cases in which the intelligent thing to do is to hang tough, not be particularly friendly and set good limits.
There are cases in which the intelligent thing to do is to recognize that you are dealing with a spouse who is out to hurt you or your children.
When these friendships fall apart, you will have to let it go, be mature about the situation, and learn to interact around your former best friend.
Learning to deal with your ex best friend will not be easy, but it is necessary to move on and let yourself be happy.
A Malignant Divorce is instigated when one party simply wants to win at all costs.
In these cases, intelligence is using all of your wits just to survive.
Here is the first point (of seven) that I made in the original overview of The Malignant Divorce.
When getting a divorce you must be aware of whom you are dealing with.
This may not be as easy as it appears; after all you were living with him for a number of years and may perceive his behavior as normal—or at least tolerable, when it is anything but.